When a relationship moves from passionate new love to a deeper, settled bond, it's completely normal for your sex life to shift too. Routines form, novelty fades, and sometimes the spark needs a little help. The good news? You don't need to overhaul everything — even setting aside an extra 30 minutes each evening to try something new can make a real difference.
Here are some fun, low-pressure ideas to break the routine and bring the excitement back.
Fun Ways to Break the Routine
👉 Mutual Masturbation
Try masturbating together at the same time. Sit facing each other, watch, and let yourselves be watched. It sounds simple, but it's surprisingly intimate and exciting.
👉 Sensual Pre-Sex Massage
Dim the lights, have your partner lie face down, and use a body-safe massage oil. Take your time working your way slowly toward their most sensitive areas — the anticipation alone is half the fun.
👉 Try a Blindfold
With their consent, blindfold your partner and let them lie back with arms and legs relaxed. Now it's your turn to get creative — and you're not limited to just your hands. Removing one sense heightens all the others.
👉 Sensate Focus Practice
Set the mood: aromatherapy candles, soft lighting, gentle music, fresh sheets. Both of you take a warm shower first. Then slowly explore each other's bodies — but deliberately avoid the genitals. It's about building awareness and connection, not rushing to the finish line.
👉 Explore New Sex Toys Together
The adult toy industry has exploded with creative, high-quality products — from DIY molds to app-controlled vibrators. Browse together and pick something that excites you both. Shopping for toys as a couple is half the fun!
👉 Upgrade Your Environment
Light a scented candle, put on a sexy playlist, and engage all the senses. Sex is a full sensory experience — the right atmosphere can completely change the mood.
👉 Take the Goal Off the Table
Remove orgasm as the "objective" and shift from goal-oriented to awareness-oriented intimacy. Couples who practice this report deeper connection and a whole new appreciation for each other's bodies.
What Are Sex Toys, Exactly?
Sex toys are any objects or devices used to enhance sexual pleasure or help achieve orgasm. Used safely, they can bring a whole new dimension to your intimate life. There's a huge variety out there, each designed to deliver specific sensations — here's a quick breakdown.
The Main Types of Sex Toys
Vibrators
These use vibration to stimulate different parts of the body. Internal vibrators are shaped for comfortable vaginal or anal insertion, while external ones (like bullet vibrators and wand massagers) focus on clitoral stimulation.
Anal Toys
Designed to stimulate the nerve endings in and around the anus. Think butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers. Always clean thoroughly after use, especially if sharing or switching between body parts.
BDSM Gear
For those interested in role play and power dynamics, BDSM toys can add a whole new layer of excitement. Beginners might start with handcuffs, blindfolds, or wrist/ankle restraints. Paddles, floggers, and ticklers are popular for sensation play. Trust and communication are everything here.
Dildos
Designed for comfortable insertion into the vagina, anus, or mouth. They come in all shapes and sizes, often with pleasurable textures or ridges, and in materials like silicone, glass, or steel.
Penis Rings
These wrap around the base of the penis to restrict blood flow back, helping maintain and enhance erections. Vibrating rings add extra stimulation for both partners.
How to Choose the Right Sex Toy
Always go for body-safe materials: silicone, tempered glass, metal, or ABS plastic are your best bets. Avoid porous materials (like jelly rubber or latex) — they're hard to clean and degrade over time. And pick up a pH-balanced lubricant while you're at it. Most importantly, choose something that fits your needs and comfort level.
Using Couples' Toys Together
Couples' toys are designed so both partners can enjoy them during sex. Before buying, talk about what appeals to both of you — the conversation itself can be a great intimacy builder. Strap-on toys, for example, come in a wide range of styles, colors, and sizes to suit different preferences.
How to Clean Your Toys
- Non-porous silicone: Mild soap and warm water, or a damp soapy cloth.
- Cyberskin / vinyl: A small amount of mild soap — too much can damage the material.
- Plastic & rubber (TPR, TPE, jelly): Use a soft brush to remove residue, then warm water and mild soap.
- Leather: Wipe thoroughly with a damp soapy cloth and air dry completely.
The Pros & Cons of Sex Toys
Benefits:
- Boosts confidence and body awareness
- Energizes both mind and body
- Deepens intimacy between partners
- Can improve overall health (yes, including heart health!)
Things to keep in mind:
- Overuse can cause sensitivity issues
- Improper use can do more harm than good
- Always clean toys properly to prevent the spread of bacteria or STIs
FAQ
How do I introduce sex toys to my partner?
Honest, open conversation is key — no shame, no pressure. Share how you feel about your sex life and what you'd like to explore. Pick a relaxed, private moment (like before bed or in the morning) and approach it as a fun adventure you're embarking on together, not a problem to fix.
Can sex toys actually improve our sex life?
Absolutely. Toys can bring partners closer, open up new forms of intimacy, and make sex more playful and exploratory. For couples who can't or don't want to have penetrative sex, toys offer a wonderful way to stay connected and enjoy pleasure together. Sex is good for your health — and with the right toys, it can be even better.